These past five weeks have been difficult to say the least. Don’t worry though. God is seeing us through. Really! He is. He always does when we sit back and put our trust in Him. Just ask Job. He will tell you exactly how these trials are won. Just praise the Lord.

Through these trials, I have been pondering on quite a few things. There’s not a lot to do in this hospital room. So, I just sit and think. I think about the things I miss. So, in no particular order here are a few of the things I long for…

Popsicles dripping on the floor

Overflowing laundry hampers blocking the mudroom door

Dishes piled high in the kitchen sink

Sticky fingerprints that blur our view

Floors to mop

Showers to clean

Dust bunnies underneath the beds

Bread to bake and lunch to make

Toys scattered through every room

Homeschool assignments that need to be done

Home cooked meals and fussing over who will sit next to Daddy every. single. afternoon

I am missing things that seem unmissable. You would think that I would be through. But, there are a few more things this farm girl misses:

Fresh cut grass

Mountain views

Garden planting

Bird watching

Sheep grazing

Our long gravel driveway and opening the gate

The smell of Cash’s mane

The cat sitting outside the door just waiting to dash in

Coyotes howling and our dogs barking

Dudley snorting when he thinks I have another bite of food – silly pig

Yes, the farm girl in me misses those things the most. But I’m still not through. Because my Christian heart misses some very important things, too…

Bible verses quoted as we’re heading to church

Fire and brimstone preaching

Children’s choir singing for the Lord

Hugs, handshakes, and “How are you?”

Glowing smiles from across the room

Altar call and kneeling to pray with the man I love

Second talk on Thursday nights

Testimony time with my RU family every Friday night

I miss all those things. I really do! And yes, I am almost through. The next things hurt a little or maybe a little more than a little. But just remember, God has prepared me for these cloudy days. He says it’s okay to hurt a little more than a little – as long as I keep my focus on Him. The hurt is exactly what I need. It brings me so much closer to becoming who He wants me to be. My mommy heart misses these next things more than you can ever imagine…

Singing to Jayla during her midday nap

Stealing kisses from my 5 year old boy and hearing him say, “You are a sweet sweet sweet Mommy!”

Watching my oldest push his sister in her bright blue swing

All the kids squealing, “Daddy’s home” and feeling me breathe a sigh of relief

Jaden sneaking downstairs to give one last hug

Snuggling up and reading books and James asking, “Just a few more Mommy?”

Jayla squeaking in her cute little voice, “I’m your miracle Mommy!”

Jaden’s kind heart as she waits on her little sister

Jacob’s strong hugs, and his cute little grin.

Sweet notes from my handsome husband that show me just how much he cares I could go on and on. Really, I could. I miss it all. I miss my husband and our kids. I miss the good times and the ones that can seem like a hassle. Who would have thought I would miss the dishes, cleaning, and the laundry? But, I miss all those things, too. I am ready to have all of it back. I just want to be a joyful wife and mommy who pleases the Lord. I am ready to recognize the blessings in every. single. situation. But I have to wait. This is out of my control. “Not yet,” the Holy Spirit keeps whispering. “It’s not time for you to go home just yet. Wait for me and you will see how great your life can be.” So, I will continue missing. How can I not? But, I will take this time to learn more about Him. I will praise His name and thank Him for this separation. And, one day, one day soon, He will say, “Okay, you’re through. These trials are over. You have learned to stop complaining and you know acting out of frustration just won’t do. Be still and do what I’ve called you to do. Kiss them and hug them. Discipline with love. And don’t forget to always take time to teach them about Me.”

I can’t wait to be together as a family once more. I get so excited just dreaming about it. But for now, I will take care of our precious Jayce, and I will wait… Isaiah 40:31 – But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as Eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint