How did we get here so quickly? Time flies faster than we ever want it to. I really cannot believe you graduated high school today.
I am so very proud of the young man you have become. You excelled in all of the college courses you took this year. You accomplished so much as a senior!
I do not take any of the credit for your success! Especially since, in normal mom brain fashion, I forgot to order your diploma cover and didn’t realize my mistake until 1:30 this morning. Thankfully, I had Pawpaw Tim’s, and you being able to use the cover from his high school graduation made your ceremony even more special! The Lord makes no mistakes.
You truly are a self learner and love learning new things. You are one of the smartest young adults that I know. I am thankful that the Lord allowed me to be a part of your educational journey. What an honor! Thank you for allowing me to be your teacher.
Take the knowledge the Lord has given you and do great things with it for Him. Don’t ever wander from the path He has created for you. His path is where His greatest blessings are.
I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for you. Of course, there will be tough times along the way. But some of God’s greatest blessings come after the storms pass. Don’t let the hard times defeat you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and He will direct your paths.
You will always be my baby boy. There is something to be said about being the first born. No one can ever take your place. I love you so very much and am thankful for the mother/son relationship the Lord allows us to have. I am grateful for your kind, sensitive, and caring heart. I will love you forever and some more.
Love Always,
Mom 💙
John 13:7 – Jesus answered and said unto him, what I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
How are you already 11 years old? I cannot believe you are just two short years away from being a teenager. All of my babies are growing up on me including you!
I do believe you will always be my sidekick though. You stay close by my side every single day. You often ask how you can help with the younger kiddos. I am so grateful for your help and how close we are.
You are continually here for me no matter what. I know I can count on you in every situation. You love me so well. Thank you sweet girl!
You are already like a little adult, and you see things in ways that most kids your age wouldn’t. I am thankful God has given you so much discernment and wisdom.
We all had the best time celebrating your birthday at the Mexican restaurant. You were such a good sport when they smeared whipped cream all over your face. That pretty smile never faded!
Keep being exactly who you are. God has great things in store for you. I just know it.
I’ll love you forever and always!
Love Always,
Mommy 💜
Jayla’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 11 What is your favorite food? Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets What is your least favorite food? hotdogs What is your favorite thing to do? ride horses What is your favorite animal? koala What makes you happy? Mommy What is the best memory from when you were 10? going to Pennsylvania What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 11? win a barrel race What would you like to be when you grow up? nurse practitioner What is your favorite song? Please by Katy Nichole Where is your favorite place to eat? Chick-Fil-A What is your favorite book? More Days Go By Where would you like to go on vacation? Dollywood What do you want the world to know? God is good
Joshua 1:9 – Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
I love how you have grown up so much over the last year. You are now a teenager, and you have become so mature. You picked up a new sport in the fall, and you continued to play an old one. You recently went to your first homeschool formal. We all had a great time!
You are so athletic and competitive at both volleyball and basketball. We enjoy watching you on the court regardless of which sport you are playing. You always give it your all and can be overly tough on yourself sometimes.
We know your perfectionism shows how much you care about your teammates. It also displays how much you want to win every single game! As you compete, don’t ever lose focus on what is truly important. Your relationship with the Lord and how you treat others are two things that really count in this life. I’m so thankful for your good sportsmanship!
I hope you had an awesome 13th birthday. Your birthday came right at the end of basketball season, so we got to celebrate twice. We enjoyed celebrating with you at Texas Roadhouse right before the East Coast Basketball Tournament and again in Gatlinburg during the tournament! I am so thankful your friends were there to celebrate with you.
We love you so very much and are grateful to the Lord because He allows us to be a part of your life. You are special to us, and we love you more than words could ever say.
Love Always,
Mom 💕
Abby’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 13 What is your favorite food? cheeseburgers What is your least favorite food? hot dogs What is your favorite thing to do? play volleyball and basketball What is your favorite animal? ponies/horses/bunnies What makes you happy? hanging out with friends What is the best memory from when you were 12? getting my miniature horse, Elmo What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 13? Ride in a barrel race What would you like to be when you grow up? photographer What is your favorite song? Proof of Your Love by King and Country Where is your favorite place to eat? Texas Road House What is your favorite book? The Bible Where would you like to go on vacation? Disney or Bahamas What do you want the world to know? Jesus is real, and He died on the cross for our sins
2 Corinthians 12:9 – And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
I’m sure we have all lost someone we love at some point in our lives. Some have lost husbands, wives, children, moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, or friends. The list is endless and can go on and on. By the time we hit adulthood, death of loved ones becomes inevitable.
Unfortunately with death comes grief. It hits us in the face so quickly that it knocks the breath completely out of us. As time goes by, we try to regain that breath that was stolen from us, but it can be laborious to find.
Grief is not a simple feat. It cannot be easily conquered nor defeated. If we aren’t careful, it can easily get the better of us. It can rob us of so many blessings around us. However, no matter how much we want to squash the feelings that come along with grief, it is not that straightforward.
Grief is not comfortable. It is not welcome. It is not wanted.
Grief is:
-anger
-sadness
-fear
-regrets
-memories
-exhaustion
-anxiety
-depression
-insomnia
-tears when you least expect them
-empty feelings deep down inside
– the inability to breathe
-pushing through the pain
-fake smiles
Grief is all of those things wrapped up in one BIG package. The most difficult thing is there is no return label. Grief lasts for all of our earthly lives. The emotions that come from death reminds us that grief is here to stay. It will last forever. It hits us like a ton of bricks out of no where. That’s because our five senses have a way of reminding us of our past.
I found a lipstick tube in my bathroom cabinet just yesterday that smelled exactly like the lipstick Grandma P. used. That one tube of lipstick took me back to her house. I could see myself staring in her mirror as I applied her lipstick all those years ago.
Seeing my dad’s wallet on the bookshelf in my bedroom leaves me gasping for air every single time I glance over at it. He pulled that wallet out of his bibs and tried to give me money numerous times. I would decline nearly every time. I always told him that I bought him things to bless him not for him to pay me back. There is a little note in that wallet that he probably placed in there at least 14 years ago. It reads: Jacob B. owes $2. It is hard to tell what Jacob borrowed $2 for when he was barely old enough to write, but he made sure to fill out an IOU for his Pawpaw Tim. Behind that note are pictures of Jacob, his siblings, my sister, and myself.
Tasting any type of spearmint gum or candy takes me right back to Papaw P’s coffee table. I would grab his candy or gum after school each day as we sat and watched The Adam’s Family, The Braves, or good old Sandford and Son.
The feel of play dough takes me all the way back to the bar in Grandma Yvonne’s kitchen. We would sit together for hours and create anything and everything. My favorite was making a basket and filling it full of eggs. She would always make sure our creations dried out so she could keep them.
Hearing thunder reminds me of Papaw Paul because he loved to bowl. When I recently visited Florida, we had a bowling pin shaped pool. How convenient considering it was a week after my dad passed away. Him and my papaw bowled together for many years. When a huge FL thunderstorm came, I told Jaden that Papaw and my dad were bowling in Heaven. There isn’t much else my papaw would want to be doing, so I know it had to be them. He was one of the sweetest men I have ever known.
I am thankful for the lasting memories, but not for the grief. I know people say time lessens the pain. Maybe it will. However, with each loved one who I have had to say goodbye to, it reminds me that Heaven gets sweeter everyday. It reminds me that life cannot be taken for granted. Life keeps moving along despite our heartaches. I have lost so many that played a huge role in my life over the last few years. So many who I always expected to be here to navigate this life with have passed on. Many of them went unexpectedly and much quicker than I ever anticipated them to.
Life is short. Grief is difficult. Grief makes us feel uncomfortable in so many different ways. It dreadfully pours out at different times. It is painful to endure no matter how it manifests. But God is good. He can bring joy in the midst of our grief. Simply typing those words is not enough. I have to believe them. Without faith, hope, and God’s love, we all have nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:7- (Love) …Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
You celebrated your 6th birthday almost two months ago! I cannot believe you are already 6 years old. We have accomplished so much over the few months.
You are finally adopted and have a brand new name! You did so well at the courthouse on your big day. I was so happy for you and proud of you.
It took 5 years for everything to be final. However, the Lord taught me through all of the trials and hard times that we faced with each court date that we are so much more appreciative of things that we have to wait for.
We are very thankful that you are a part of our family. We could not imagine our lives without you. We praise the Lord for working out every detail.
We had a blast celebrating your birthday in Gatlinburg this year. All of your basketball buddies made you feel special. You have a way of making others fall in love with your cuteness. Thanks for making all of us smile each and every day.
Your little personality is like none other. You keep us on our toes, but you also keep us laughing. Every time I hear you sing for the Lord a huge smile comes across my face. I love hearing you sing as you skip through the house. Keep being who the Lord created you to be. We love you more than you could ever imagine!
Love Always,
Mommy ❤️
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Azariah’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 6 What is your favorite food? pizza and chicken nuggets What is your least favorite food? vanilla ice cream What is your favorite thing to do? eat chocolate ice cream What is your favorite animal? kitties What makes you happy? kitties and puppies What is the best memory from when you were 5? going to PA What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 6? I want to get 5 kitties. What would you like to be when you grow up? An Astronaut What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me Where is your favorite place to eat? McDonald’s What is your favorite book? The Spooky Old Tree Where would you like to go on vacation? Bald Head Island What do you want the world to know? Jesus
There is so much I want to say. There’s so much going through my mind. Did I do enough? Did you know how much I truly loved you and wanted to be by your side every chance I could get? I hope you always knew that you were loved more than anything. I still love you. That will never change. I will love you for eternity.
That’s why I tried so hard. I tried so hard to protect you from the evil that lurks in this world. There’s so much evil, Dad. I never wanted to fuss at you. Ever! I hope you did not feel like I was fussing at you. It’s like I explained to you over the last few months. When I am afraid, I sound frustrated.
I wasn’t ever angry. You told me you knew I wasn’t because you knew me better than anyone. You said you knew how I am. We always joked about who was the most stubborn: you or me. You could tell I wasn’t angry because you could hear the fear in my voice. I definitely was not angry, but I was scared. I was so scared for you, for me, and for my kids. I could see what was happening. Maybe you could as well, but sometimes we are tricked into believing things are different than they appear.
I can’t dwell on it now. I want you to know that I fought for you to the very end. I walked through things I never thought I would have to and was braver than I ever thought I could be. I am still being brave for you.
The same day I walked in and found you lying there so helpless with every ounce of life gone from your body, I sat in church before I knew what had happened and made a plan on how I was going to get you out of there and away from the mess that surrounded you. I wanted you away from the people who had found your quiet sanctuary on the hill. I hated to see you being taken advantage of in your weaknesses. I missed the privateness of your life and home.
I was not the only one who roamed those fields and ran in and out of that white farm house for many years. Jamie had grown to love the place before you bought the property from his parents. He got to swing in that old porch swing before I did. Who knew just a little over ten years after you bought the farm, Jamie and I would start dating and eventually get married? We plan on fixing that old farm house up. But recently, the place seemed foreign to both of us. We were being shut out little by little. Not by you, but by others who did not care about your well being. We will call them squatters or moochers maybe even thieves for lack of better terms. Those terms are actually quite fitting.
That’s why you were on my mind as I sat in church this Easter Sunday. As I prayed, I decided I could not leave you there to suffer one more second. I prayed for you and others who are suffering from the same things you were going through. I was going to ask my preacher what day he could go with me to pray with you and have your doctor visit you as well. That doctor visit happened that very day, but in the worst possible scenario you could imagine. He pronounced you deceased only minutes after his arrival.
I was too late. My latest action plan never got to take place. Not the way I wanted anyway. You were carried out of that house as criminals surrounded me. They continued to breathe the air that you were breathing just 12 or so hours before. You were carried out of YOUR house, but not the way I expected. You were taken out in a body bag. You no longer had the option to get help. Heather and I hung a sunflower taken from your casket on your gate just a few days later. You loved planting huge sunflowers.
You and I both know I had tried several tactics to get these strangers off your property over the last few months. None of them worked. These people were ruthless. Drug addicts can be. The drugs make them only care about themselves. They make them lose all sense of reality. They only care about their next high and will get it any way they can such as taking advantage of a disabled man’s kindness.
They did not care when they left you lying there dead for hours as they hid your valuables and carried the things of their liking out of your house. You actually worked the same hard, labor job for over 40 years to purchase the things that you owned. You did not take advantage of others. Ever! I can’t think about all of that now. I can’t. It takes me to a dark place that I cannot dwell in. I have to keep my mind focused on the Lord. I have to know I did all I could in His strength and power. I have to pray for those that left you there in your condition. I do not want to become bitter. You did not even really know these people. God knows them, and He loves them and wants them to do better!
I hope you saw how much I wanted to see you healed. I pray you saw that I only encouraged you to make certain decisions because I hurt to the deepest part of my inner being watching you suffer. I do not blame you for my hurt. God made me this way. He made me a persistent girl who never gives up on those I love.
My hope was for you to find peace on this earth. Since I feel like that probably did not happen in the latter part of your adult life, I have to find peace in the fact that you got to see Jesus’s face on Easter Sunday. Not everyone gets to do that!
I have to focus on how, a few years ago when you were in the hospital, I asked you if you were saved. You said you were. I have to trust that you understood. Many years ago, Grandma Yvonne told me stories of how you loved to quote Bible verses to her. Sometimes strongholds take over at certain times in our lives, and we do not always get to fully live out the Lord’s plans. The Lord’s blessings are like none other, but we all make choices in life that come with consequences. 💔
Regardless of all of the choices that cannot be taken back, I will focus on the good times. Simple acts of bringing you food or making a million phone calls to get your disability and insurance set up were so worth it. The littlest things meant so much because it meant I got to spend time with you, or I was able to hear your voice. Hearing your voice helped me know you were still here! It made me know there was still hope for healing!
On April 9th, 2023 that hope of an earthly healing ended. The last year or so, I begged you to go back to the doctor or hospital. However, when you refused, I had to respect you as my father even though your decision broke me completely in two. It is going to be okay though. It really is. Over the last week, I have been reminded of all of the good times we had before things got really bad for you. I will cherish all of those memories forever.
I will always remember how you took me to the beach and taught me to swim. You taught me not only to swim in the pool but also in the ocean. Going out into those waves past the point of where I could touch the bottom took a lot of trust. I trusted you to be there if I needed you. I still need you, Dad. Every minute of every day…
I will never forget you showing me how to fish and the time you took me out on the little boat on your friend’s pond. You were the first person to fry up a big mess of fish for me. My boys and girls love to fish just like you. About a year ago, Jacob called you for advice when he fried up a mess of fish Jayce had caught. He brought you some, too.
Just a few days ago, Jayce’s face lit up when he got to check his minnow trap at your ponds. He had been wanting to check it for several months, but unfortunately, some other people who obviously didn’t really care about you or us had taken over his little fishing hole.
He is so glad to have that fishing hole back, but he wishes you could be there with him. He loved you so much just like all of the rest of your grandkids. They have all been talking about memories they had with you. Alayla has talked about how special you made her feel when she came over with her daddy, and they carried in the wood for your old wood stove. She said you told her she was one of the prettiest little girls you had ever seen. She smiled from ear to ear when she remembered your words. They have all smiled, but they have also cried. Grief is difficult.
I also sit here and think about your deer roast that you cooked on the wood stove every Sunday morning and how I would sit on the steps chewing on freshly cooked tenderloin. I was talking with someone not long ago about how you loved to cook for us. You were an avid outdoorsman. We never lacked for food.
Your freshly grown watermelon from the garden were always a big highlight in the fall. Not long ago, Jayla was bragging on how you gave us watermelon each year. You also gave us pumpkins, peppers, corn, and so much more. The list is endless. When Jaden sprinkled salt on her watermelon just a couple of days ago in Disney, it took me back to you and me adding just a pinch of salt to each bite as we sat watching television together at that yellow colored bar on those baby blue stools. I know that every time I see a hot pepper, I will think about how you always told me to eat the ones you had canned. I can still hear you say, “If you don’t want to be sick, eat you some of those hot peppers.” I should probably listen.
The camping trips we took year after year were always the best. I will definitely never forget the time you took Heather and me up on the mountain to your hunting cabin, and a chipmunk chased her out of the outhouse with her pants around her ankles. How could I forget that? We laughed so hard as she squealed. The hiking trips through the woods and visiting “Wayne’s World” made life worth living. You truly knew how to live off the grid.
I will always remember how you bought me my first horse and then a few years later when Heather left for college, you got me a Mountain Feist puppy named Belle. Jaden loves horses now all because you let me fall in love with that jet black Quarter horse all those years ago. Jaden has one who looks just like her. She calls her Dakota. I’m sure you know, she also has several more in various colors as does her brothers and sisters.
Don’t worry about not being able to get Jaden that truck to pull her horse trailer like you wanted to. She is going to fix up your old truck. It suits her just fine. She smiles when she talks about it. It brings comfort knowing you were thinking about her to the very end. You are helping her chase her dreams.
I wrote a book about my sweet horse, Midnight, probably 13 years ago. The story also included you, but the ending I penned has proven to be very different from reality. That’s how life goes sometimes. The beginning and middle are the parts that I will dwell on. Those are the parts I want to be ingrained in my mind forever. Too often, circumstances happen and remind us that we are not in control of other’s choices no matter how much we feel that we need to be.
Your love for animals has absolutely been one of the biggest traits the kids and I got from you. When Jaden rescued a baby opossum, I could not wait to tell you. She even snuck it to church in her pocketbook. You probably remember me telling you all about it. Her little Bonnie made me think of the tiny guy who hid in the pocket of your bibs. Let’s not forget about the time the dog carried a not so small opossum in the house. You just smiled and watched it play dead. It wasn’t so funny when it used the bathroom all over the floor.
You had cared not only for opossums but skunks, rabbits, owls, snakes, turtles, and farm animals. I am sure there were many more creatures you had cared for over the last 60 years. James has begged me to teach him how to rehabilitate wildlife. There is no doubt in my mind that your own upbringing flows over to your children. These kids bring me everything from toads, frogs, turtles, snakes, chipmunks, and all types of creepy crawlies. I smile and enjoy the moments with them. They make me recall how I did the same things when I was their age. They have also bottle fed a calf or two not to mention many lambs and goats.
However, there is no denying that my love for Dobermans actually rubbed off on you. Tyson, Axel, and Thunder were all very special to you as was my Rambo and Toby. I am certain you named Rambo for me because all the boys in my class had given me that nickname in the 4th grade. Maybe there was a little meanness lurking in the background that year.
I will never forget how you helped me build my first house or how you walked me down the aisle on that same river bank just before the building process began. I can still see that huge smile on your face when you held Jacob for the first time. When he caught his first shark several years back, the memory of you catching a shark when I was just a little girl standing on the shores of Myrtle flooded my mind. He also caught a stingray and several other types of fish that swim in that vast ocean.
Jacob is so much like you not only in looks but in his love for the outdoors and searching for relics. He’s so thankful for the Camaro you gave him when he started driving. You had promised it to him when he was just a little boy. You followed through on that promise, and I know he thinks of you each time he’s in that car.
I can’t help but think about all the times I wrecked when I was around his age. The first wreck I ever had, you were laying block at a house in Applewood and before you even heard the news, you already knew what had happened. Daddies just have a way of knowing. Thanks for coming to the ER a few wrecks later when I needed stitches. You held my hand and told me, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and reminds you that you are still living.”
I won’t forget how you rubbed my feet all those times I was in the hospital especially after Jaden was born, and I was deathly sick. I’m so glad I could return the favor to you just a few weeks ago on Jayla’s birthday. I could tell you were in so much pain that day. Jayla begged to see you on her birthday when I told her I was going to run over to Papaw Tim’s and check on him. I’m so glad she asked to go even if her heart broke for you. She’s my tender hearted child and like me in so many ways. She cannot stand to see people being taken advantage of. She saw the situation that she walked into for what it was. She is so wise for her age. She says she still remembers you holding her when she was a baby. I believe her.
I will remember all of the vacations, RC cars, holidays, and trips to Dollywood. You smiled so much when I was a kid, Dad. I will always remember that huge smile. Your smile made me smile. You were one of the smartest most humble men that I ever knew. I am sorry all of that was slowly taken from you with each tip of the bottle over the last 20 years or so.
Addictions are a thief including alcoholism. People think because it is legal that it is not so bad. But one day what you were able to control becomes uncontrollable. Alcohol robs you of your time and the person you used to be. It alienates you from the ones who love you the most. It allows you to become an easy target because you are not always thinking clearly.
I still recognized you even in the most difficult days, but I also longed for my original daddy, too. The one who labored every day to provide for his family. The one who went fishing and hunting and came to sporting events to support us. The one who competed in archery tournaments or skinned that big buck in the building out back. The one who whittled chains out of wood and even my name. I sat there with you and whittled little boats. You were such a hard worker and lover of life for many years. You were not a deadbeat dad who did not care about his children. You showed your love for us in so many ways over the years. You continue to show your love for us even after your death. Thank you!
It will all be okay. It really will. I understand how alcohol got a hold on you. You let life’s difficulties get the best of you. When we do not focus on the goodness of the Lord, that can happen so quickly. Despite the struggles, I will always want more time. More time to tell you I love you. More time to hear you say it back. More time to check on you. More time to open your door and say, “Hey, Dad!”
I am thankful I was strong enough to keep checking on you and coming to see you even though I had to muster up enough courage each and every time. Our last visits over the last few months left me in tears and a state of panic, but I am thankful for them. I am grateful you taught me how to protect myself over the years. I hope I never have to defend myself, but you never know in this old world we live in. Jamie had a good laugh as he told all of those at the funeral about that pistol you gave me as a wedding gift. You were one of a kind and one of the best shots in this whole county. Your true buddies were even talking about that at your viewing and funeral. I am positive you could have protected yourself in your last days had you been well. The decline in your health after the human predators showed up was deplorable.
You were different in the end. I could see you struggling not only physically but mentally. The stress had became too much for you to handle. You told me a few weeks ago that you were not going to change for me or anyone else. You told me you did not need help. I think you knew deep down what you needed, but you felt like it was too late. You did not want to be a burden. I respected that even if I did not want to believe it. The truth is, I wasn’t asking you to change for me. I would never do that. I wanted you to get help because I wanted your pain to go away. I did not want to lose you. I wanted to see your big smile again. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted all my kids to see you in the same way I got to all those years ago. I wanted them to be able to hug you any time they needed to. I needed those hugs, too.
All of that sounds so selfish, but I can’t help it. A daughter will always need her father. You always told me not to do anything that did not make me happy. I do not think you realized what would have made me the happiest was to see you thriving in the Lord’s blessings. Not for me, but for you! I have learned over the years that He is the only one who can bring true joy in our lives. The bottle only leaves us empty and craving for more. I have cried more tears than I could ever count since April 9th. Your death was something I had to walk through that did not make me happy! But I had no choice.
Sometimes, for whatever reason, we do not get what we want in this life. I will hold on to the fact that I will see you again one day. I will believe that in my heart because I still need you. I need at least one more hug. I have to see you whole again. I have to see you able to walk without pain. I have to see that huge smile that the alcohol robbed from you. If I could pour every sip back in those bottles, I would in an instant. I want more time with you. I want so much more time. But I know that is not possible and is insensitive in many ways. For now, I have to say goodbye, but until I see you again, I love you! I always will!! Don’t ever forget that. And so will all your grandkids, family, and all your sincere friends who stopped by your viewing and funeral. I am so thankful you had them during your 65 years! They were the ones who counted!
Love Always,
Amanda ❤️
I’ll love you forever, Daddy!
John 8:32 – And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
You built a wall. A wall that didn’t easily allow my love to pour in. Things seemed too hard, or maybe everything was just overwhelming. At times, I let your hardness of heart seep over into mine.
(February 5, 2018 – Our first day together.)
I became scared. We both were scared. Scared of how long you would stay. Scared that you would be moved to a different home. Scared that you might go home and not be protected. Scared of the long journey ahead. Foster care can bring those uncertain feelings for everyone involved. If you never attach, the move will not be so difficult.
Due to circumstances that happened before you were placed with us, you had become used to being an independent baby. You did not feel the need to become attached. For a long time, you constantly fussed, whined, choked, gritted your teeth, begged for food 24 hours per day, self-soothed, and the list goes on and on. I felt like a fish out of water because it was so difficult to know how to help you calm down. Learning to attach was too much for you.
Within the first few days, I knew every day life was not going to be easy for you. You had been exposed to too much and endured so much at such a young age! This mama felt a lot of uncertainty because trying to learn exactly how to help you was a challenge! A challenge I gladly accepted, but one I did not exactly know how to navigate for awhile.
The hurt in your eyes and the loudness and stubborness of your squawking noises were a lot to handle as was the constant colicky cry nearly 6 hours per day from a baby who was well too old and big for colic. You battled the inability to self regulate. You head banged and had a horrible congested cough due to aspiration. A constant massive amount of drool soaked your shirt.
You wandered off to every adult that came into sight to grab their attention so they could comfort you for just a short moment or two. You quickly ran from that comfort as fast as you could though. Deep down, you did not want comfort from them or me. You did not know what it meant to have a mom and a dad. You had no idea what love truly was or what it meant to be taken care of properly.
I felt like a failure. Many times, I felt like I failed miserably. I was that fish out of water gasping for breath. I became disappointed in myself more than I care to mention. I cried at times because I did not like experiencing frustration. The frustrationthat comes along with not knowing exactly how to help a child attach. A child who did not understand why it was so important to do so.
However, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, you started to laugh and smile a little. Not much, but a little went a long long way. To this day, Jayla brags that she was the first person to make you laugh.
Your first haircut let all of the cuteness out. Let’s admit it, the cuteness was always there. But, at times, I focused on the fussiness of the whole situation.
It did not take long for your siblings to become attached to you. They wanted to see you happy. Even if everything felt unpredictable, they still loved on you in big ways! (They still do!)
Through the unpredictability, I began to focus on how important the task at hand was. I began to cry out to God and begged Him to help me show you how much we all truly loved you. I pleaded for Him to mold me into the mommy that you so desperately needed. I cannot stand to let my Savior down, so I asked Him to show your dad and me how to parent you in a way that pleased Him. 
He answered. We have come to terms with the fact that our time together has not always been a walk in the park. But, guess what? You are so worth it. Every whine, cry, and tantrum have been and will always be worth it. God has shown all of us so much grace and mercy over the last 5 years!
Everything all of us have endured is nothing compared to what you went through in the womb and your first almost 11 months of life. Those critical months that are supposed to teach you how to bond were so tainted. The taintedness is clearly not our fault and was completely out of our control, but I still want to a say I am sorry.
I am sorry for not being able to be the one to hold you from day one. I am sorry for not getting things right immediately. Sometimes foster mommies just don’t know what to do with all the abuse and neglect that should have never occurred. If I would have had a choice, I would have protected you from the beginning. If I could have protected you, our bonding would have been so different. But we still pray for your first family because we know God is able.
He can take away the hurt and heal the brokenness. He is faithful. Today I thank Him for His mercy and grace. Without those two things, our family would not be where it is today. Each day is a new day. Each hour, minute, and second belong to Him, and He can and will knit hearts together even when the road begins somewhat bumpy.
Thank you for being so patient precious boy. Thanks for letting your wall crumble, so mine could, too. You are so so loved and wanted! And today, 1,877 days later, you were adopted! We will love you forever and always, Azariah Jackson!! I am so thankful for our bond that will never be broken!
Love Always,
Mommy ❤️
Isaiah 40:31 – But they that wait upon theLordshall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
How are you already nine? The years are not slowing down like I have asked them to. You and your siblings keep getting older and older. It is not easy to watch the years pass by, but I’m grateful the Lord allows me to watch you grow up more and more.
You are growing into a true cowgirl and horse trainer. You are so brave as you climb on a different horse each day. Everyone knows to ask Ava to ride their horse or pony if it needs a tune up. They know you are not afraid.
Your one passion in life is horses. You amaze me more each day. Nothing is too big of a task for you. God sent you horses to help you understand that you can do whatever He asks you to do in His strength.
Keep on being strong, and let the Lord guide you a little more each day. I know you are going to go so far in life! We love you so much!
Love Always,
Mommy
Ava’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 9 What is your favorite food? hamburgers What is your least favorite food? tomatoes What is your favorite thing to do? ride horses What is your favorite animal? horse What makes you happy? mommy What is the best memory from when you were 8? Going to PA to see the Amish What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 9? barrel race What would you like to be when you grow up? a horse trainer What is your favorite song? God is so Good Where is your favorite place to eat? Texas Road House What is your favorite book? books about math Where would you like to go on vacation? PA What do you want the world to know? About God
Joshua 1:9 – Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Yes, this birthday letter is two months late! Does that surprise you? I did not think so. It happens this way sometimes because your birthday and Ava’s are so close to Christmas! It is not easy trying to get everything fit in around the holidays.
However, that does not mean I love you any less!! It simply means that I have a lot of blessings that keep me hopping especially during busy seasons.
You loved celebrating your birthday with a few of your closest friends and all of your siblings. Your Highland cow cookie cake was perfect. Your love for cows is super cute. Maybe one day you will have one of your own. For now, we are sticking to ponies though!
Your smile and giggles continue to brighten up any room you walk in. You always see the good in every situation, and you are super helpful around the house and farm. If anyone needs help, they always know to call on Alayla.
Thank you for having a helpful spirit and never complaining! We love you so much and are so thankful we get to share this life with you.
Love Always,
Mommy
Proverbs 17:22 – A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Alayla’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 11 What is your favorite food? spaghetti What do you hope you never have to eat? salad What is your favorite thing to do? ride horses What is your favorite animal? ponies What makes you happy? being with my family What is the best memory from when you were 10? riding horses on trails What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 11? go to a rodeo What would you like to be when you grow up? veterinary assistant What is your favorite song? Good God Almighty by Crowder Where is your favorite place to eat? Chick-Fil -A What is your favorite book? The Bible Where would you like to go on vacation? on a cruise What do you want the world to know? about God
How are you already old enough to drive a truck and pull a horse trailer? How do these things happen so quickly? I know you have been waiting to be able to haul your own horses for several years now. Well, baby girl, as you know, the wait is over!
I’m so proud of all you have accomplished in life so far. You are quite the athlete and are so competitive. Whether you are on the basketball court, volleyball court, or learning to barrel race horses, you always give it your all.
Your 16th birthday was the best day even if you took a tumble and ended up at the ER. Crazy things happen sometimes, but you have proven you know what to do when life throws punches. You get up and keep going. You don’t let things get you down.
We are alike in so many ways. Horses make you happier than having extra cash laying around. You are strong willed and know how to get the job done. But, we are also different. You have so much more confidence than I do. You never give up. In a respectful way, you don’t let others hold you back. You are kind, sensitive, and helpful, but you get out there and do your best no matter what. I’m so thankful you are growing up to be a confident woman in this world that can be so harsh.
I know you get your strength from the Lord. He will never fail you nor forsake you. I hope you continue to take your strength from Him as you train your new “heart” horse, Reba!! You are perfect for each other. I can’t wait to watch you grow closer together and form that unbreakable bond. I hope this year is your best yet!
Love you forever and always,
Mom 💙
Galatians 6:9 – And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Jaden’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 16 What is your favorite food? Japanese What do you hope you never have to eat? broccoli What is your favorite thing to do? ride horses or play volleyball What is your favorite animal? dogs and horses What makes you happy? my dogs, horses, and baking What is the best memory from when you were 15? getting to hang out with my friends during sports What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 16? go to Hawaii, the Caribbean, or run my first barrel race on Reba What would you like to be when you grow up? I’m not sure. Most likely something to do with horses. What is your favorite song? I don’t really have one right now. Where is your favorite place to eat? Yummy Yummy or Poe’s BBQ What is your favorite book? Horse Tales from Heaven by Rebecca E. Ondov Where would you like to go on vacation? Hawaii What do you want the world to know? Jesus loves you and everything happens for a reason.
Happy 7th birthday sweet boy! I know I say this every birthday, but I can’t believe another year has came and gone. Time doesn’t ever slow down. That can be difficult on this mama’s heart, but it’s such a blessing to watch you grow and change each year. You recently lost your first two teeth. You were so so excited!
One thing that hasn’t changed is your love for flag football. You are so fun to watch on the field! You also recently stole the show in your first children’s theater performance. You were the cutest little wally bird!
You have the best personality. I haven’t ever met one person who doesn’t fall in love with you the first time you meet. Your beautiful blue eyes and adorable little smile still have a way with people just like they always have. I know you have all your siblings wrapped around your little finger. They all love you so much and want to make sure you are happy at all times. That isn’t a hard task because you are smiling more times than not.
I don’t take one year for granted with you. God knew we needed you in our family. I am so grateful for all He has done. And, more than anything, I love to hear you sing all the songs you learn at church. It brightens my days when I hear you going through the house singing for the Lord!
Keep on being who He created you to be! We all love you more than you could ever imagine. We are going to have a blast celebrating your 7th birthday at Bald Head Island over the next few days! Why only celebrate one day when you can celebrate more?
Love Always,
Mommy 💙
Abel’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 7 What is your favorite food? pizza What do you hope you never have to eat? pickles What is your favorite thing to do? play outside What is your favorite animal? my donkey What makes you happy? Abby What is the best memory from when you were 6? Going to Bald Head Island for Jacob’s birthday What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 7? move to a new house What would you like to be when you grow up? football player What is your favorite song? He’s Able Where is your favorite place to eat? Domino’s What is your favorite book? The Berenstain Bears and the Spooky Old Tree Where would you like to go on vacation? the beach What do you want the world to know? God is good
Psalm 100: 1-5: Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.
You are finally a teenager! We now have 3 teenagers in our house. We only have 7 more to go until all of you hit that milestone. I know you have been anxiously awaiting the day to officially be a teen. Well, buddy, that day finally arrived!
A lot has changed the last few months. We bought a 92 acre farm, sold the only house and farm you have ever known: the home that we built and moved into just a few days before you were born. Now, we are living in an 1800s log cabin. It’s a special cabin. It’s the cabin your daddy and grandparents took down, moved, and built back on a quiet little lot at the lake. You have taken all of these recent changes in stride. Evicting a few bats in the cabin was probably one of the most interesting things to recently take place.
Since we moved, you have enjoyed looking for fossils in the creek. You have went swimming and fishing at the lake. You’ve spent the week at teen church camp where you made some big decisions for the Lord. And, on your birthday, we even found a few hours in all of the busyness of working on Heather’s camper van conversion to celebrate you turning 13! I love how you just go with the flow and have the same level headedness in all situations.
I will never forget a few days ago when you walked past me and said, “Mom, watch when you shut the gate because their is a rattle snake in the weeds by it.” You never screamed. You didn’t make a big deal out of it. You just kept on walking. Jacob on the other hand immediately went on the prowl. He snapped a few pictures of what we learned was actually a nonvenomous snake pretending to be something he wasn’t.
Thankfully, you aren’t like that snake. We always know who James is. Unless you are telling jokes or picking at your siblings, you are calm and collective. You study your Bible verses until after midnight most nights, and you always always come and tell me good night. Most nights, you will stop by my room 3 or 4 times before you go on to your bed. You are definitely a night owl like your mama.
I hope you continue studying those verses each night before you fall asleep. They will carry you through any situation that you might face in life. Hide them in your heart, and you will go so far. Keep letting your light shine for the Lord and share those verses with others who cross your path. Let the Lord use you no matter where you are. We love you!
Love Always,
Mom ❤️
Romans 12:1 -2: I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
James’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 13 What is your favorite food? Japanese food What do you hope you never have to eat again? Tomatoes What is your favorite thing to do? Go to church camp What is your favorite animal? Raccoon Dog What makes you happy? Mom What is the best memory from when you were 12? Church Camp in NC What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 13? Go on a cruise What would you like to do when you grow up? Youth Pastor What is your favorite song? I Have Been Blessed Where is your favorite place to eat? Japanese What is your favorite book? Bible Where would you like to go on vacation? Alaska What would you like the world to know? Love Jesus
Happy 8th birthday sweet boy! Can you believe there was a tornado warning on your birthday? We didn’t let that stop us from celebrating you!
We ate at Cracker Barrel just before the tornado warning came our way. Then we headed to the movies to watch Bad Guys. Jayla was so excited our family had the whole theater to ourselves. We got to ride out the storm while watching the movie!
When we felt it was safe, you decided you wanted to go shopping. You picked out so many things for your cute puppy, Sarge. You love him very much. He definitely seemed grateful that you spent your birthday money on him!
We ended the afternoon by stopping at Dairy Queen for some ice cream. Then we rushed to our new farm to see what damage came from the storm! Thankfully, the damage wasn’t too bad. Despite the weather, we had a great day together.
I’m so thankful for God’s protection on your birthday and every day. We all love you very much. Your tender heart finds ways to make sure everyone around you is smiling!
I hope you have a wonderful year. Stay sweet and keep learning about Jesus. I know He’s going to help you each step of the way and take you so far in this life.
Love Always,
Mommy
Jayce’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 8 What is your favorite food? cake pops What do you hope you never have to eat again? broccoli What is your favorite thing to do? swimming and playing on the playground What is your favorite animal? dogs What makes you happy? being with Mommy What is the best memory from when you were 7? spending time with Mommy What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 8? go to the beach What would you like to do when you grow up? help people fix their houses after a tornado What is your favorite song? Speak Life by TobyMac Where is your favorite place to eat? Texas Roadhouse What is your favorite book? I love math books. Where would you like to go on vacation? Disney World or Bald Head Island What would you like the world to know? I love God and everyone.
Joshua 1:9 – Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
I’ve put off writing this letter for several weeks because I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you are already 18 years old!! How did these last 18 years fly by so quickly? I never thought we would get here in the blink of an eye. But, we have. I’ll never forget the day you were born! What a special day it was. You were such a good baby who loved to be held and cuddled. I rarely ever put you down your first two years!
You turning 18 is definitely bitter sweet for this mama. I am so thankful for the godly young man that you are. You honestly have not given me any trouble over the years. Of course, we all learn and grow as we get older, but you, my son, have done a great job of growing in the Lord each and every year.
You can’t even imagine how much I have enjoyed spending so much time with you from the moment you were born until now. I will never regret being able to homeschool you. I have not missed a minute of your childhood, and I am so grateful. A lot of mamas and sons don’t get the opportunities we have had. From nature hunts, field trips, farming, sports, reading probably over 100 books together, and going on many vacations over the years, I have loved every single second with you!!
I have witnessed you being able to do absolutely anything you put your mind to. You have made homemade fishing baits, skinned a bear, completed construction projects, and dug a trout pond. You have flourished as an artist and pianist. You have cared for baby lambs, raised rabbits, rode horses, and hatched chicks. Farming isn’t easy, but you are always up for a new task such as building fence or helping many different farmers in the area. You started working for others when you were around thirteen years old. Your work ethic is something to talk about.
One thing you have almost completed is writing your first mystery novel. I can’t wait to see it in print! You becoming an author makes me happier than almost anything else you have wanted to accomplish in your life. You know why? Because writing is one of my passions, too. I hope all of the books we read and the plays we watched at the Barter over the years inspired you to become a writer!
I could go on and on forever because it’s difficult to sum up 18 years in one little blog post. It’s actually quite impossible. I can’t wait to see what all the Lord has planned for you in the future. You have been praying and reading your Bible since you were probably five years old. God has already answered so many of my prayers for you. He will never leave you or forsake you! Don’t ever forget that. He will continue to direct your paths as you grow and mature into an adult. Always put Him first in everything you do, and you will never lack joy in your life.
Some things that have helped me along the way are staying strong no matter the situation, playing hard, and enjoying each moment because time doesn’t slow down. And, no matter what, love others with everything that you have in you. I have witnessed you love your siblings well. You have made every single one of them feel special over the years.
I know you will continue putting others first because you have one of the most serving hearts that I have ever seen. Jayce is your little mini me, and he looks up to you so much. He has every reason to look up to his oldest brother. You have set a great example for him.
You will always be one of my first loves because you are my first born. There is something special about your first born child. You allowed me to feel that once in a lifetime feeling of becoming a mama for the first time! That is not something to be taken lightly, ever! It’s an indescribable feeling. One day, you will understand exactly what I’m talking about. I love you so much sweet boy and always will!!
Love Always,
Mom ❤️
Jacob’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 18 What is your favorite food? burgers from Little’s What do you hope you never have to eat again? All food deserves love. What is your favorite thing to do? farming and basketball What is your favorite animal? wolf What makes you happy? being around people I love What is the best memory from when you were 17? starting my own sheep herd What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 18? grow my sheep herd What would you like to do when you grow up? have a family and own a homestead with sheep What is your favorite song? Working on a Building by Trace Adkins Where is your favorite place to eat? Red Lobster What is your favorite book? Adventures of Arty Anderson Where would you like to go on vacation? out West What would you like the world to know? Do what you love, but call it work.
John 13:7 – Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.
Another birthday has come and gone! How is that even possible? You are already 5 years old!! I’ll never forget our first night together when you were just a few weeks shy of being 11 months. Honestly, I will never ever forget what all we have endured the last 4 years.
Together, we have both had to learn how to handle some really tough things. We have learned to let go and love no matter what circumstances are around us. You have overcame a lot these last several years. It brings me so much joy to watch you make progress and strides little by little.
Your sweet smile and witty personality are like none other! You keep us on our toes, but you also keep us laughing. You are so smart and funny!
We love you more than you could ever imagine. Even though none of us still know what your future holds, we know God does. He knew what your life would hold the day you were born, He knew the day you were brought to us, and He knows exactly what is going to transpire. We are continuing to trust Him to make the best decisions for your life. We will lean on each other as the days continue to pass.
Stay cute and keep on keeping on sweet boy! I will love you forever and some more.
Love Always!!
💗💗💗💗💗
John 16:33 – These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 5 What is your favorite food? french fries and hamburgers What do you hope you never have to eat again? green beans What is your favorite thing to do? playing with dinosaurs What is your favorite animal? T-Rex What makes you happy? elephants What is the best memory from when you were 4? going to the lake What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 5? eat What would you like to do when you grow up? work and dig What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me Where is your favorite place to eat? McDonald’s What is your favorite book? No David! Where would you like to go on vacation? the beach What would you like the world to know? I will take bad guys outside and lock the door.
How are you already double digits? It’s so hard to believe it’s been ten years since I toted you out of the NICU. There are some moments in life that you never forget, and that is one that will stay with me forever.
The moment I brought you home from your hospital stay, I snuggled you up in my bed. And, honestly you have never left my side since. You have been stuck to your mama like glue. And, for that, I’m so thankful. You remind me daily that it’s my fault that you still sleep in my bed. You tell me if I hadn’t put you there when you were two weeks old, you would have learned to love your bed instead of mine.
Well sister, I love that you still snuggle with me almost every single night. You see me for who I am. And, most likely, you understand me more than anyone else. You know how to make me laugh when I feel like crying. You know how to find ways to help me when I feel so sick. Sorry I missed seeing you blow out your birthday candles. This pesky sickness of mine can get in the way sometimes. But, you are so forgiving!
You do so much for me out of the kindness of your heart. When the Lord made you, he copy and pasted you to be just like me. We both have a kind heart mixed with a stash of feistiness. Everyone says that about both of us. As you grow older, I hope you will use your feisty, strong-will to do great things for the Lord. There is no doubt in my mind that you will! A feisty kindhearted girl is what this old world needs more often than not! You always stand firm in your beliefs, but you also love so deeply, and it shows!
Don’t try to grow up too quickly. Stay little for just a little longer. Play with your baby dolls and build forts in the woods for as long as you can. Keep shining and singing for the Lord, but just stay little for a few more years. I love you baby girl: forever and always.
Love Always,
Mommy 💗
How old are you? 10 What is your favorite food? Chick-fil-A nuggets What do you hope you never have to eat? tacos What is your favorite thing to do? Be with Mommy What is your favorite animal? Koala What makes you happy? Abel What is the best memory from when you were 9? Seeing the ponies at Grayson Highlands What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 10? Build a Barndominium What career to you want to do? nurse practitioner What is your favorite song? Amazing Grace Where is your favorite place to eat? Chick-fil-A What is your favorite book? Magic Treehouse Where would you like to go on vacation? Legoland What would you like the world to know? If you get saved, you will live eternally with God in Heaven.
Joshua 1:9 – Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Happy 12th Birthday! You are growing up so quickly. You are almost as tall as me now! I don’t think you have to worry about being short anymore because you still have a few more years to grow! You have asked me so many times if I think you will be short forever. Well, I’m pretty sure you can put that fear aside.
However, I think you are perfect just the way you are. You have the most tender heart and sweetest spirit. I’m so thankful for you.
I enjoyed going shopping with you on your birthday. Your new earrings are so pretty, and the cookies you picked out were delicious.
I know you had a blast going to Just Jump with one of your basketball friends. I’m so glad Neannie and Pawpaw Ken took you to celebrate. It has been such a joy seeing you make new friends this year. Basketball was so much fun to watch, but seeing you come out of your shell and develop friendships was even sweeter!
I hope your 12th year is the best one yet! I love you forever and a day!
Love Always,
Mommy 💗
Abby’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 12 What is your favorite food? baked potatoes What do you hope you never have to eat again? steak What is your favorite thing to do? play with my bunnies What is your favorite animal? bunnies What makes you happy? my bunnies, friends, and family What is the best memory from when you were 11? when my bunnies had babies What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 12? See Little Man be adopted What would you like to do when you grow up? hairdresser What is your favorite song? Made to Love by TobyMac Where is your favorite place to eat? Texas Roadhouse What is your favorite book? I’m not sure Where would you like to go on vacation? Clearwater Beach What would you like the world to know? There is a God in Heaven
Romans 15:13 – Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Sorry I am so behind writing your birthday letter. I’m sure every letter I have written for your birthday has that same apology in it. It’s tough having a birthday on Christmas Day. But, we made sure to celebrate you even if it was during the rush of the holidays.
It’s hard to believe how much you’ve grown both physically and emotionally this last year. I am so proud of you. There are always going to be hiccups and hard spots in life, but you are learning how to handle all of those things a little bit at a time. And, that is all we can ask for!
Thank you for sticking with us and being so patient as we have all learned how to live this life together. You mean so much to us. We love you no matter what situations we have endured together.
I can’t wait to watch how you are going to mature and grow even more over the next few years. There are a lot of times where I will just sit and think about what it’s going to be like when you are a teenager or even a young adult.
What activities will you enjoy? What career path will you take? Will your looks change as you get older? Will you still love to work on the farm and be around the farm animals?
Those are some questions that come into my mind often. Thankfully, Lord willing, we will get to watch you grow and change for many more years to come. Don’t ever lose your focus on the Lord, and He will help you work out anything that crosses your path or has already crossed your path. Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair especially the things you were handed at such a young age, but you are learning how to find healing in the midst of it all. Don’t ever give up!
We love you sweet girl. Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
Ava’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 8 What is your favorite food? mac and cheese What do you hope you never have to eat again? broccoli What is your favorite thing to do? ride horses What is your favorite animal? horses What makes you happy? Mommy What is the best memory from when you were 7? playing on the farm What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 8? go to the beach What would you like to do when you grow up? train horses What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me Where is your favorite place to eat? Mexican What is your favorite book? The Bible Where would you like to go on vacation? Legoland What would you like the world to know? Jesus died on the cross.
Psalm 86:11: Teach me thy way, O Lord; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.
Happy 10th Birthday, girl! I am so behind writing your birthday letter, but December birthday letters always seem to come a few months late. I tend to need a little extra time to recover from all of the excitement and hustle and bustle from the holidays.
I loved how you planned your very own birthday party this year. You got every detail together, made invitations, and handed them all out on your own. You are growing up to be an independent young lady, and that’s not a bad thing! You know what you want in life, and you go for it.
I love that about you, but what I love most is hearing you belt out gospel songs as you wash and fold the laundry each day. You do everything in life with a song in your heart. Whether it’s folding clothes or helping Daddy on the farm, you always have a cheerful attitude.
Your laugh is contagious and has to be reeled in every once in awhile. But, I’m so glad you can laugh and find joy no matter what situation arises. You are such a blessing!
Time is going by so quickly, but each and every minute with you is one well spent. I’m so thankful that the Lord brought you to us almost 4 years ago! We love you way more than you could ever imagine.
Love Always,
Mommy 💗
Nehemiah 8:10 – …for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Alayla’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 10 What is your favorite food? Pizza What do you hope you never have to eat again? Lasagna What is your favorite thing to do? Play outside What is your favorite animal? Horses What makes you happy? Spending time with my family What is the best memory from when you were 9? Going to NY What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 10? Go on a cruise What would you like to do when you grow up? Be a veterinarian What is your favorite song? Mr. Red, White, and Blue Where is your favorite place to eat? Texas Roadhouse What is your favorite book? The Bible Where would you like to go on vacation? Disney What would you like the world to know? The world needs the Lord
Happy 15th sweet girl! I never thought 15 years could go by so quickly. It seems like you should still be 2 with me carrying you around on my hip.
Even though I’d love to go back in time and watch you grow up all over again, that’s not possible. It’s impossible to go backwards, so I’ll just hold all of the memories we’ve made so far close to my heart.
You are one amazing, beautiful girl! You have became a hard worker and are compassionate about the things put in front of you. If you set your mind to a task, it always gets completed especially when it comes to farming, horseback riding, or caring for animals. You made me smile the time you snuck two abandoned baby opossums to church in your purse because you wanted to keep an eye on them.
You’ve recently proven that basketball might be a new hobby for you. I’ve enjoyed watching you play on a basketball team for the first time ever this year! You are doing so well!
I’ve also enjoyed watching you break and train your first little Quarter Horse filly. You saved your money, and you patiently waited until you found the perfect match. Your patience paid off because Dakota has definitely bonded with you! You are the best team I’ve ever seen, literally.
I’ve never seen a horse bond with a new owner so quickly. She’s so gentle and willing to learn. I hope Dallas will prove to be the same in a few years! I’m so thankful your daddy went all the way to Missouri and picked her up as a surprise for your birthday! I mentioned that I wanted to get you a little weanling, and he made it happen!
We love seeing you excel in your hobbies, but more than anything, we love your heart for the Lord! Don’t ever change for anyone. If you continue to put the Lord first in your life, you will go far. This old world can be tough, but finding strength in the Lord will always help you find success. There will be difficult times along the way, but God’s mercy and grace will carry you anywhere you need to go.
I love you, JJ. Thanks for always being willing to help out on the farm and with the kids. You are definitely one of a kind.
Love Always,
Mommy 💓
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Jaden’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 15
What is your favorite food? Cheeseburger from Little’s
What do you hope you never have to eat again? bananas
What is your favorite thing to do? ride horses
What is your favorite animal? horses and dogs
What makes you happy? horses
What is the best memory from when you were 14? getting two new fillies
What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 15? get my learner’s permit
What would you like to be when you grow up? horse trainer
What is your favorite song? Tasha Layton’s songs
Where is your favorite place to eat? Little’s
What is your favorite book? I don’t really have a favorite one.
Where would you like to go on vacation? Hawaii and Texas
What would you like the world to know? Jesus loves everyone!
Our trip to Disney World and Vero Beach this past week where we celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary turned out to be a trip like none other. Getting away and spending quality time together was something we both needed.
The theme parks, the resorts, the beach, and all of the fine dining restaurants made our trip memorable.
With God’s mercy and grace, we have accomplished so much over the last 19 years. We have accomplished way more than I ever imagined we would be able to. I recently found a paper I wrote about 13 years ago when I was in college. My assignment was to introduce myself and to tell about my future aspirations and goals.
In that paper, I listed that my dreams and goals for the future were to own a farm with horses so kids could come and have an outlet and to have a house large enough so we could become foster parents one day. I didn’t even remember writing that paper or putting those things as my dreams! I guess life just got busy for a few years after college as I was raising our babies and teaching. But, I am so thankful God remembered. Not only did He not forget, but He also made those dreams that I had forgotten or maybe just put on the back burner come to fruition. He worked on your heart along the way, too. He put us both on the same page in His timing. Isn’t that amazing?
There have been wonderful times, sad times, and bumpy times along the way. But, God has seen us through them all. He has held our hand as we have welcomed each baby, toddler, or child into our family. He has helped us keep breathing during births with complications and challenging foster care cases. He continues to give us hope as we trust Him on our journey.
He keeps us strong as He helps us raise all of these kids He’s given us. I think it’s easy to say our days are never boring and are always somewhat chaotic; however, it’s also very easy to say that we are so blessed! You will always be my greatest adventure!
I’ll love you forever and some more. You have always been my biggest encourager. Thanks for celebrating 20 years with me this past week!! I can’t wait to celebrate 20 more!
Love Always,
Amanda ❤️
1 Corinthians 16:14 – Let all your things be done with charity.
It’s hard to believe you are already 6 years old. I’m pretty sure I start every birthday letter with words very similar to those. The years just pass by so quickly.
You have grown so much this year. You still have the cutest grin and the biggest blue eyes. You make me smile many times each and every day.
The Lord has worked so many miracles in your life this past year. He healed your lungs and you learned how to drink thin liquids without aspirating! That’s such a big deal for you and truly a miracle from the Lord. After all of the surgeries, medical tests, and specialist appointments you have endured over the years, I definitely feel like you are finally free from all of those things! I am almost positive that the last surgery that you will need was most likely this summer.
You have the most tender heart and have such a strong desire to do what’s right. We loved watching you be a part of a football team this year. Seeing you run the ball and pull those flags brought so much joy to our lives.
I hope you loved your new Spider-Man bike. You are slowly learning how to ride without training wheels. Jayce was so excited when he saw you riding all on your own!
You are so special sweet boy. Thanks for loving all of us so well. We will love you forever and a day.
Love Always,
Mommy
Abel’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 6
What is your favorite food? pizza
What do you hope you never have to eat again? hot dogs
What is your favorite thing to do? play
What is your favorite animal? donkeys
What makes you happy? puppies
What is the best memory from when you were 5? going to the beach
What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 6? go see dinosaurs
What would you like to be when you grow up? Stitch
What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me
Where is your favorite place to eat? McDonalds
What is your favorite book? books about snakes
Where would you like to go on vacation? Bald Head Island
What would you like the world to know? I don’t know.
Jeremiah 14:17 – Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.
Happy Birthday, buddy! It’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that you will be thirteen in less than 365 days! I will have three teenagers in the house oh so soon.
You are growing up quickly. I know you can’t wait until you are an official teenager. You’ve been begging for your own phone for years. But, you know you have to at least be 13 before that can happen.
I’m so proud of how much you have matured this past year. You have overcame so many fears. You are once again enjoying singing in the choir at church. There was a time you felt like singing just wasn’t going to be your thing. I’m proud of you for trying it again.
On vacation, you swam in the ocean like a champ. I really couldn’t believe how well you swam under all of those waves. You had a blast every single day while we were at Bald Head Island.
You have also recently found a new hobby. You have battled in airsoft games with your friends and siblings. I love hearing you tell me how much you have enjoyed being around your friends once again.
One of the biggest steps you took this year is how you willingly took your COVID vaccine after you watched your great-grandpa pass away due to COVID complications. I’m so proud of you for taking such a big step and making such an important decision in your own life. I heard you pray many times in 2020 for COVID to leave.
I know you will feel safer traveling to Wyoming with Neannie, Pawpaw, and Jacob. I know you feel relieved to finally be out and about again. We all do! I hope your trip goes so well for all of you.
Happy Birthday once again sweet boy! I had a blast celebrating with you with a Star Wars themed party. It was a blast! Stay strong in the Lord this year, and He will direct your paths.
Love Always,
Mommy 💙
James’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 12 What is your favorite food? Sushi What do you hope you never have to eat again? heath candy bars What is your favorite thing to do? travel What is your favorite animal? wolf What makes you happy? seeing wildlife What is the best memory from when you were 11? going to Bald Head Island What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 12? help with wildlife rehabilitation What would you like to be when you grow up? Wildlife rehabilitator What is your favorite song? Help is on the Way by TobyMac Where is your favorite place to eat? Mexican What is your favorite book? Magic Tree House books Where would you like to go on vacation? Alaska
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
You are such a sweet little boy. You brighten my days. I can’t believe you are already seven years old.
I will never forget May 6, 2014. God showed me that day that He has a great purpose for both of our lives. His love for us is amazing!
I am so thankful that I have gotten to witness the last 7 years with you! I know this year is going to be a great one because you celebrate each day to the fullest. You are my little cowboy who loves to farm.
You are so energetic and full of life. You have so much love to give. Your hugs and kisses are like no other.
I had the best time celebrating your big day with you at Bald Head Island. We all wanted to make sure your day was special, and we spoiled you to the max. We wouldn’t want it any other way.
I love you sweet boy and always will! Stay kind and you will go far.
Love Always,
Mommy 💙
1 Corinthians 13:13 – And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Jayce’s Birthday Interview
How old are you? 7 What is your favorite food? plain cheeseburger What do you hope you never have to eat again? tomatoes What is your favorite thing to do? play outside What is your favorite animal? goats What makes you happy? seeing Mommy What is the best memory from when you were 6? going to the beach What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 7? play with Rachel What would you like to be when you grow up? an artist What is your favorite song? Raise a Hallelujah Where is your favorite place to eat? Chick-fil-A What is your favorite book? books about goats Where would you like to go on vacation? the beach What do you want the whole world to know? God loves you.
I lose my breath often when I think about having less than 365 days until you are 18! Watching you grow up has came with great blessings, but realizing that it won’t be long until you achieve adult status makes this mama a little sad at times.
I don’t ever want to think of the day that you won’t be here on the farm raising your chickens and ducks, fishing at the pond, or making fishing baits for others. You are always willing to help out whether it is building with your dad or fixing my hair when I feel too weak to do it myself. You are the best!!
You are so smart and are exactly how I imagined you would be at this age. You are using your talents to be productive and help others along the way. I’m so proud of you!!
Please help me slow this year way down because we both know that 18 is just around the corner. Year sixteen left just as quickly as all of the others have. No matter how fast each year comes and goes, you will always be my first born and my baby!
I love you more than words can describe! I hope 17 is your best year yet! Stay strong in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Love Always,
Mommy
Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Jacob’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 17 What is your favorite food? seafood What do you hope you never have to eat again? I like everything. What is your favorite thing to do? raise chickens and ducks What is your favorite animal? Bantam Chickens What makes you happy? Taking care of my animals What is the best memory from when you were 16? Hanging out with friends What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 17? Have a successful homestead What would you like to be when you grow up? A farmer What is your favorite song? Any Christian song Where is your favorite place to eat? Little’s What is your favorite book? The Fishing Chronicles by Lane Walker Where would you like to go on vacation? Wyoming. What do you want the whole world to know? Life is a lot simpler when you farm.
It’s hard to believe you are already 9 years old. I think I type something similar every single year as I write your birthday letter because time is not slowing down even though we wish it would every now and then.
You always tell me that you aren’t growing up, and you aren’t leaving home because you want to stay with me forever. I’m starting to believe the second part since you still sleep snuggled up beside little Lucy and me every single night.
You say it’s my fault that you don’t want to sleep in your own bed because I’m the one who put you in my bed the day you came home from the NICU. I guess you do have a point.
All of your siblings accuse you of being my favorite because you are always close by my side. You never want to be too far away, and even though I don’t play favorites, I’m thankful you love me so well.
I’m sure there will be a day when you spread your wings and fly on your own. But, right now, I’m soaking up every minute I have with you. You know how to love in a fierce way. We’ve been through a lot these past few months with losing Papaw Paul and Grandma P., but the sadness has brought us closer. I’m thankful we have each other to lean on. I love you so much sweet girl.
Love Always,
Mommy 💕
Psalm 4:8 – I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.
Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 9 What is your favorite food? Tacos What do you hope you never have to eat again? Pickles What is your favorite thing to do? Ride horses What is your favorite animal? Dog What makes you happy? Mommy and Daddy and my family What is the best memory from when you were 8? Spending time with Mommy What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 9? Hike to the top of Molly’s Knob What would you like to be when you grow up? A doctor What is your favorite song? Love Broke Thru by Toby Mac Where is your favorite place to eat? Taco Bell What is your favorite book? To Kill a Mockingbird Where would you like to go on vacation? Disney What do you want the whole world to know? The Lord loves you.
I knew this day would come, but I’m not prepared. Even though I’ve wondered when this day would get here every day for the past several years, I’m still not ready. I’m not ready to say goodbye. I’m not ready today. I won’t be ready tomorrow or the day after that. We don’t know when God will take you, but we know, it’s not going to be much longer.
We have all watched your health decline and your mind slowly leave. You look peaceful right now lying beside me. But, I hear you slowly slipping away. I’ve been holding on to hope that you will open your eyes, look at me, and say my name. As much as I want to hear it one last time, I haven’t heard you say Amanda in several years. You are just tired. You have fought so long. And, boy, have you put up a fight!
I have told dementia that it is not my friend so many times. I even wrote a blog post about it once. This disease has robbed us of so many years with you. We don’t understand why. The only response that we have is God is still good.
We know your pain and suffering has to be for His glory. He has used it as recently as tonight to show me areas that I really need to work on in my life. He has a way of turning really tough situations into something to be used to point others to Him. I’m so thankful for that.
I love you. I am so grateful that I have had you in my life for so long. In my eyes, you are still such a young grandma. When I was in middle school, I used to brag to my friends that my grandma was the same age as some of their parents.
That’s why it’s so hard right now. You still have years left to live. Your mind was taken from you way too young. I know I have to stop focusing on that. My kids are afraid. They are afraid their grandparents, their mom and dad, and even when the time comes, they might suffer with dementia and Alzheimer’s one day.
We all know we shouldn’t live in fear, but watching you decline from this horrible disease, has changed us. It has created a whole new thought process. It has made all of us think, “What if it does happen? or “If it does happen, how early will it come?”
These thoughts make me cry out to God and ask him to have mercy on all of us. We do not want to have to suffer the way you have unless it’s His perfect plan. We don’t want our family members to see us suffer the same way you have had to.
We don’t know God’s plans. And, honestly, that scares me and punches me in the stomach more times than I care to admit. What are we going to face in the years to come? Can we handle what is ahead of us?
The answer is simple. Yes. We are all going to be okay. No matter the outcome. No matter what He has chosen for us. Even if dementia or Alzheimer’s is in our future, He will continue to give us grace. He has given us so much grace and mercy this entire decade with you as you have declined. And, even through the fear, watching you suffer has taught my kids how to really love. You have taught them how to take care of others and how to be selfless. Thank you, Grandma!
Just today, I was able to smile at some of the things that happened a several years ago as your mind began to change. I smiled at the time you fed the fish every few minutes because you couldn’t remember you had just fed it. I chuckled at the time you gave the cat a plate full of pretzels because you thought it was cat food. I also smiled thinking about the day the kids got you on their horse! I didn’t know how in the world I was going to get you back down. I’ve smiled because if I don’t I will not stop crying.
You are my last grandparent. This chapter in my life will most likely close sooner rather than later. That’s a tough pill to swallow. We lost your mama just a little over a year ago and Papaw Paul just a month ago. Grandma Yvonne has been gone almost seven years now, and Papaw Pennington since 2002. That’s so hard to believe! You have missed him so much. The pain was almost too much for you.
Growing up, I never even gave a second thought to the day you all would leave me. I’m glad we didn’t understand how difficult these days would be when we were little. If we understood how badly these days would hurt, we wouldn’t have been able to breath. We wouldn’t have been able to live. We wouldn’t have been able to enjoy each day we spent with you. We wouldn’t have been able to laugh as we explored the woods behind your house, we wouldn’t have sang to the top of our lungs as we traveled to the beach every single year, we wouldn’t have participated in backyard baseball, kickball, or badminton, and we wouldn’t have celebrated each holiday to the fullest! Those holidays always brought all the fried chicken and mashed potatoes anyone could ask for! You loved to cook for your family. I have missed that so much these last ten years. I have missed you!!
Sometimes in life, we focus on the negative things of the past. But, God has a way of making those memories disappear, and He allows us to focus on all the really good times we had! He opens our eyes to how wonderful our lives really were. How wonderful they still are. He shows us the truth.
I’m thankful I’m learning how to breathe through all the hurt. I’m learning how to accept God’s love and His plan. I’m learning how to be molded for His glory. God has used your sickness to show me how important it is to trust Him.
There is one thing for sure, this life is not getting any easier. I know as the days go by, it’s just going to get more difficult. But, God is good even though this life is hard. I can’t wait until you get to see Jesus not because I’m not going to miss you, not because I’m ready, and not because it’s going to be easy to say goodbye. It’s because I can’t wait for you to be free again. I long for you to be whole again! I know you are so ready. I love you, Grandma!! 💕 I love you so much!! And, I know you love all of us, too.
Love Always,
Amanda 💕
Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
It’s hard to believe you just turned 4!! The day before your birthday, you were so excited that the next day you were going to be turning four years old. You kept saying, “One more sleep until it’s my birthday!”
You are so cute! You keep all of us on our toes each day with your mischievous ways, but we wouldn’t want it any other way. You are smart, funny, and always finding an adventure to carry out as you play.
You love exploring the farm and digging in the dirt. You love chasing chickens and feeding the sheep with Jaden. You would play outside all day long no matter the weather if you could.
We had so much fun celebrating your birthday! If God chooses, we hope to celebrate many more birthdays with you. We love you more than anything! We hope this year is this best one yet! We will love you always and forever!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 4 What is your favorite food? cake What do you hope you never have to eat again? salad What is your favorite thing to do? pop balloons up in the air What is your favorite animal? elephants and sheep What makes you happy? Mommy makes me happy. What is the best memory from when you were 3? Going to McDonalds What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 4? eat French toast and waffles What would you like to be when you grow up? work with Daddy at his work What is your favorite song? Baby Shark Where is your favorite place to eat? McDonalds What is your favorite book? the book about oceans Where would you like to go on vacation? to the beach What would you like the world to know? “Me love to go to McDonald’s” 😜
Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Happy 11th birthday, girl! I can’t believe you are already 11 years old. Time is definitely going by way too quickly. It’s hard to imagine that over five years have passed since we first got to meet you! Your reserved yet somewhat strong personality helped you stand out in the crowd. You were quiet until you needed to let others know exactly how you were feeling!
That’s why we love you so much. In 2018, two years after we met, we got to scoop you up and bring you home with us. And boy did you let your voice be heard! You started to work through all your hurt and pain, you stomped your foot a few times, and you began your healing process.
We are so so proud of how much you have grown. After your adoption last year, you finally learned how to take deep breaths, and you have learned how to let go and live your life to the fullest. I’m so thankful you have trusted God to help you navigate the ups and downs each and every day.
Your life has not been an easy one to navigate. But, we will continue to be here with you every step of the way. We love you and are so excited to celebrate number 11 with you. We would be completely lost without you. We love you more than unicorns and bunnies. Keep smiling and keep showing this world how strong you are!
Love Always,
Mommy ❤️
Ephesians 6:10 – Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Abby’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 11 What is your favorite food? Lasagna What do you hope you never eat again? Hotdogs What is your favorite thing to do? Play with Buttercup my bunny What is your favorite animal? Bunnies What makes you happy? My family What is the best memory from when you were 10? Going to Bald Head Island with Neannie and Pawpaw and the TobyMac concert What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 11? Go to Disney What would you like to be when you grow up? Hairstylist What is your favorite song? Backstreet Driver by TobyMAC Where is your favorite place to eat? Taco Bell What is your favorite book? A to Z Mysteries Where would you like to go on vacation? Hawaii What would you like the world to know? I have the greatest family in the world!
When COVID first hit, I remember telling Jamie that I didn’t want our family to become a statistic because I didn’t know if I could handle our family looking different because of this virus.
Truth is, as of today, like so many other families right now, I no longer have a choice in the matter. You fought so hard, but your body finally said enough is enough. The good Lord took you home. He took you home to be reunited with Grandma, all of your siblings, other family members, and your many friends. We already miss you so much!
You taught me so many things in my forty years, but some of the most important ones are to always be kind, to smile often, to love like Jesus, to work hard and save every penny possible not just for myself but for others who may need it, to take time and visit the beach, and to enjoy every meal I can get. Grandma’s cooking couldn’t be compared to anyone else’s. We all learned to love food because of her. You both made sure we were always fed.
Thank you for always having your door open. I won’t ever forget picking beans and breaking them in the basement, swinging on the swing set in the back yard, picking apples, eating dip dogs and onion rings, and your neck rubs as I sat in your kitchen. I won’t ever forget you being here for football games, special occasions, your great-grandkids’ birthdays, and holidays.
The last time I entered your door was just a few days before Christmas. I will cherish that moment forever and so will all of the kids. I wish I would have opened your door more often in recent years. Sickness, being a mom to so many, and life in general seemed to get in the way too many times. But, thank you for always checking in on us and showing us how much you cared.
Not having the opportunity to open your door once more has came too quickly. While you were in the hospital, I was looking forward to the day I could run up your steps and through your door. I was counting down the days until I could see your smile and sit and talk with you about how God healed you. I was longing for you to finally make it back home. I always said that you were going to outlive us all. And, I truly believed it.
We both know that’s not going to happen. But, as I sit here, I can imagine how grand your heavenly home is. I might be just a little jealous. This old world seems to be crumbling around us.
Your strength and determination have taught me to keep going and never give up no matter what’s going on around us. Thank you for loving all of us so well. Thank you for teaching me so much and leading by example. I don’t ever remember a time in my life where you criticized me for anything I was doing. I could have used some criticism every now and then. You chose a different route: unconditional love. Your life always showed me how I needed to be living.
There was never any question whether you loved us or not. You simply showed it. I will miss our talks about your bowling scores, my kids, and all the times we reminisced about the past. Most of all, I will miss hearing you say, “I love you, too, sweetheart.” I long for just one more visit and just one more hug, but I know Heaven is too sweet to wish for you to be back here with us.
You really were the greatest grandpa! Enjoy your final destination and reward. You deserve it so much! It was an honor having you love me for forty years!
I love you, Papaw and can’t wait to see you soon. Life goes by so fast, so I know it won’t be much longer.
Love Always,
Amanda ❤️
Matthew 25:23 – His Lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
You are seven-years-old already!! Your birthday is so special because it’s on Christmas! Some people might not like a birthday on or near Christmas. But, you love it because you get to celebrate your birthday the same day that we celebrate Jesus’s birthday. You always remind me that it’s your birthday and Jesus’s.
We had your party the day after Christmas because we wanted a day where all the focus could be on you. When you have so many siblings opening presents on Christmas, things can be a little chaotic at times.
You seemed to love your Charlie Brown and Friends cookie cake. It was so cute. It was a perfect cake since you got Snoopy pajamas for Christmas. And, we also got a new puppy named Lucy!
You were so grateful for all of your gifts. You are still a Disney girl. It was obvious considering 99 percent of your gifts were Disney themed. Maybe one day we will make it back to Disney World, and we will ride the Frozen ride together. I know you would love that.
For now, we will just enjoy playing with your new Frozen castle at home. I’m so proud of all the great changes you have made over the past few years. And, I’m super happy that you are my girl.
Love You Forever,
Mommy 💕
Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Ava’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 7
What is your favorite food? hamburgers
What do you hope you never have to eat again? carrots
What is your favorite thing to do? play
What is your favorite animal? horses
What makes you happy? Mommy
What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 7? Ride horses
What is the best memory from when you were 6? Playing in the water
What would you like to do when you grow up? a horse trainer
What is your favorite song? Let It Go from Frozen
Where is your favorite place to eat? Cracker Barrel
What is your favorite book? Elsa books
Where would you like to go on vacation? Disney World
What would you like everyone in the world to know? I’m not sure.
How can you already be 9 years old? These past almost five years have really flown by. It seems like you should still be the cute feisty 4 year-old who I met in January 2016.
You stole my heart the first time I heard you giggle. Your laugh and smile made the whole room light up. No matter what you were going through, you still brought that smile out every single time I got to see you.
I’m so grateful God allowed you to officially become our daughter this year. We waited so long for the Lord to work out all of the details. And, you endured way more than any child should ever be asked to before we got to scoop you up and bring you home where you belong!
But, all the trials and tribulations haven’t taken your smile away! You are such a joy to be around. And, you are one of the hardest workers that I know. You have learned to use all of your energy to help others. That makes me so proud, baby girl! I love you to the moon and back and some more.
Love Always,
Mommy 💕
Romans 15:13 – Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
Alayla’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 9
What is your favorite food? sausage biscuits
What do you hope you never have to eat again? lasagna
What is your favorite thing to do? feed the animals
What is your favorite animal? my pony, Greta
What makes you happy? my family
What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 9? I want to go to church.
What is the best memory from when you were 8? Jayla and I pretended to be twins.
What would you like to do when you grow up? help ponies
What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me
Where is your favorite place to eat? Cracker Barrel
What is your favorite book? books about Ariel
Where would you like to go on vacation? Bald Head Island
What would you like everyone in the world to know? Jesus loves everyone!
Wow! How are you already 14 years old? I really can’t wrap my mind around it. This morning, Facebook memories reminded me just how quickly time goes by. It seems like all the fun on your 4th, 7th, and 8th just happened yesterday! It doesn’t seem possible that you are already 14!!
A few days ago, I began your birthday video with a picture of me holding you so tightly when you were a baby. As I stared at us on the river bank, I could once again feel the breeze blowing across our faces and smell the freshness of the water. I could hear laughter of those around us. If I could go back to that day one more time, I would in a heartbeat. I would give anything to be able to snuggle you so close and kiss you all over your chubby little baby cheeks.
Mommies don’t realize their babies are going to grow up so quickly. If we did, we would take in every single moment and take time to run our fingers through all that baby fine hair over and over again. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to pick you up. If I had to guess, I would say it was at least 6 years ago. I would give anything to be able to carry you on my hip one more time. Or to hear you say, “Mommy, pick me up!” I would never tell you no!
Despite my mommy heart wishing you were still little, I’m so proud of the Christ honoring young lady that you have become. You are one of a kind! You make my heart sing with joy every single day.
You, my daughter, put others first no matter what. You love others something fierce. You make sure everyone is taken care of even your furry friends. You hurt when others hurt, and you laugh when others laugh.
You have a way of knowing exactly what we all need. You always face difficult times with such strength and compassion. You have shown grace and mercy as you have welcomed many brothers and sisters into your life. Thank you for that! You will never understand how much that means to your daddy and me.
2020 has brought a few heartaches, but you have allowed those situations to make you even stronger. You use difficult situations as motivation to reach your goals with passion. You let the joy of Christ shine through your life every single day! Don’t ever change sweet girl. We love you more than chocolate pie on Sunday.
Love Always,
Mommy 💕
Hebrews 12:1 – Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
Jaden’s Birthday Interview:
How old are you? 14
What is your favorite food? cheeseburgers
What do you hope you never have to eat again? cabbage
What is your favorite thing to do? hanging out with my friends and riding horses
What are your favorite animals? horses, dogs, cats, pigs, and donkeys
What makes you happy? riding horses and spending time with my dog, Skylar
What is one thing you’d like to do while you are 14? ride horses on the beach and build a horse barn
What is the best memory from when you were 13? training my horse, Lily and going on trips
What would you like to do when you grow up? a horse trainer and a police officer
What are your favorite songs? Trust in You by Lauren Daigle, Burn the Ships by For King and Country, and Into the Sea by Tasha Layton
Where is your favorite place to eat? Chick-fil-A
What is your favorite book? The Littles series
Where would you like to go on vacation? Disney World with Mabreigh and Maryleigh
What would you like everyone in the world to know? Jesus loves them!
We had so much fun celebrating you today! You had the best day playing with all your new dinosaurs. It is a rare occasion if you don’t have a dinosaur in your hand. You are a lot like James was when he was around your age. He loved dinosaurs, too. And just like him, you can name almost every single one of them.
It is such a blessing watching you grow and change each day. You were too cute this morning as you ran around and told all of your brothers and sisters that you are now five!
It made my heart sink a little each time you said, “Me five!” It only sank because I can’t believe you are already 5 years old! Time has got to slow down. When I close my eyes, I can still see you a