I do not hate you. I want you to be better. I want you to make better choices. I want to help you. I hurt for you. I feel sad for you. I love you. No matter what, I always will.
Do I agree with the choices you have made? No. How can I? I see what they have done to you. I see that deep down inside, whether you admit it or not, you are hurting. You are hurting yourself. You are hurting all those around you.
I cry for you. I don’t know how to help you any longer except to continue to pray. You get defensive no matter how much I try to help you. When I come to visit, you deny that you need help. I see it so much differently. I know you need help. That’s why I keep fighting for you no matter how far you push all of us away.
Your addiction hurt when I was 5 years old. It still hurt when I was 15 years old. It continued to hurt when I was 25 years old. And, it hurts even worse now that I am 39 years old. The older I have gotten, the worse your addiction has gotten. The older you have gotten…
Time is running out. Time is running out for us to have a relationship again. A relationship of you being sober and enjoying life to the fullest. I want to see you smile again. So badly, I just want to hear you laugh. I am so afraid that time is gone. I know God hears my prayers. I know He can heal you.
But, you have to want it. You have to want to be healed. I cannot help you in my own power. But, I’m so willing to help you in God’s strength. Your addiction is so much bigger than me. It’s so much bigger than you. But, it’s not too big for God.
I have to protect the ones I love from your addiction because that’s my job. That’s my job as a mom. I take that job seriously. But, they all love you. They love you so so much. And, they know you are worth the fight. I know you are worth the fight. They cry for you. They hurt for you. They pray for you. They love you. Please don’t ever give up. We will love you forever no matter what. 💕