Saying Goodbye

It happened. A little piece of my heart left last night.  Last night, we had to say goodbye. We had to say goodbye to a little girl who stole our hearts not so long ago. A little girl who we love more than you can ever imagine. I pray she always felt our love. The journey wasn’t always easy. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t her fault! I can’t elaborate, but my heart broke for her after first meeting her.

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We had no choice but to let her go. Her needs are too great for our large family.  We just couldn’t give her all the attention she needs. She deserves lots of attention! She deserves to be held 24 hours per day. That’s how it became clear that she wouldn’t be with us forever.  But! That doesn’t lessen our love for her. It makes it stronger. It makes us swallow our pride for her best interest. It keeps us humble.

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She is God’s child. He will provide for her. He will take care of her. I’m standing strong on that promise. We know He loves her more than we could ever love her. We know He has a great plan for her.  A great purpose…

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It was still difficult to say goodbye. God asks us to do hard things sometimes. But, no matter what, we have to obey God. Even when we don’t understand or see the big picture, we still have to follow God. His ways are always perfect. His ways lead to great blessings. I know He has a life full of blessings planned for the little girl who called me mommy for nearly three months.

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It still feels like she is my little girl. It still feels like I am her mommy. She will always be one of my own. But, going into foster care, we understood that things are not always going to be permanent. Forever was never mentioned. As much as I would have loved to be her mommy forever, that clearly wasn’t God’s perfect plan for her life or ours. We had to let go of her hand.  We had to let go sooner than we thought. We had to let go so she can prosper.

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So we said goodbye for now. Even though we have said goodbye, God is still holding her hand. Please pray for our sweet girl.  A few of you knew her name. If you aren’t one of the few, just pray for our little “Bug.” That was added after her first name almost every time we called for her. She needs prayer. She needs healing. This Mama does, too. God never said serving Him would be easy. All He asks us to do is trust Him. Just trust Him! And learn to breathe along the way.

He is close to the broken hearted. I worry about her heart more than ours. Our kids miss her and have been praying for her, but they understand it was for her best. They have seen their mama shed lots of tears since she left. I’m not afraid to let them see me cry. It just makes us stronger. It makes us lean on each other and the Lord more. Being foster parents has widened our eyes to those hurting in the world. There are more hurting than not. If you feel led by the Lord to reach out and help those around you, don’t ask questions, just follow God’s lead. Let Him guide the way. Things might not always turn out the way you wish, but one day it will all make sense. Great things can happen even in a short amount of time. Our little girl learned how to pray and her favorite song is Jesus Loves Me.  She always asked to read her new Bible each night. I sent her Bible with her, and I pray she gets ahold of God’s love for her.

We followed God’s lead and said yes to a broken little girl, but for now, we have to say, “See you in the morning, sweet girl. See you in the morning.” We don’t know which morning that might be, but we will never forget those words. She would yell them from her bedroom every. single. night. And those are the words she said right before the car door shut. I do pray there will be a morning when we can see her again – if it’s in God’s plan. Hug your kids a little tighter today, and savor each and every moment…a lesson God continues to teach me time and time again…

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This entry was posted in foster care, Let's Reminisce and Reflect! and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Saying Goodbye

  1. Shannon says:

    Oh wow. I have been in a similar place of having to say goodbye in foster care. It was, I think, the hardest thing I have ever done. Praying for you and sweet Bug right now. ❤

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