It’s A Matter of the Heart

My babies!  My babies are growing so quickly.  I see it every day.  James has shot up like a stalk of corn and is praying that God’s will is for him to be a rancher. Jayla has went from sitting, to crawling, to nearly walking in 10 short months.  Jacob invents new things each free moment he gets.  And just last night, he showed that he can take the death of a pet in stride as he graciously announced that he already knows about the life of Job.  God’s will be done. And little J.J. is sputtering new words as reading becomes her forte bit by bit. At family Bible time she whispers, “I want to keep on reading.”  It all melts my heart and drips freely from my eyes.

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Am I doing my part as I watch them grow? Is Proverbs 31 becoming ingrained in me? Are my cries to my savior being heard?  My cries for Him to live through me with gentleness, meekness, and kindness.  I surely hope so. Does my husband see my efforts?  Does he hear my cries to the Lord?  As he writes in our little green journal, he thanks me for teaching our babies the importance of Mark 12:30.  He thanks me for being a Proverbs 31 woman.  I read his words of encouragement and am grateful that he sees I am trying.  Trying my best not to fail time and time again. Trying my best not to doubt. It is all so new to me. I never truly made sense of it all until recently.  I am slowly weaving the pieces together as I flee from doubt.

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Doubt.  It creeps in so quickly when you least expect it.  It makes you question not only your abilities but your salvation.  Doubt: such a little word with so much power. It is a joy killer.  It suffocates. It is one of the devil’s favorite tools.  But wait! There is hope. Doubt quickly becomes powerless when God becomes your power.

Not so long ago, He silenced my doubt. He put it to rest. I ran to Him.  I pleaded with Him.  I got in His word.  He was faithful.  He listened.  He is working. I continue to run to Him.  I continue to plead with Him.  I continue to read His word.  He continues to be faithful.  He is empowering me to joyfully complete the daily tasks that come with being a wife, a mother, a teacher.  He silences doubt in an instant.  He is in FULL control.  He is holding onto my heart so tightly.  It is in the palm of His hand.  I never want Him to let go.  His love is everlasting. I love him so. It is a matter of the heart.

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He understands my longing to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  He hears my prayers.  He gives me strength.  He knows how much I love the husband and babies he has blessed me with. It’s not about me.  It’s about them.  It’s about Him.  It’s a matter of the heart.  I call out Psalm 139:23-24 to Him.  I plead for Him to search my heart and not let any wicked ways be found in me. I ask him to take any negative thoughts or complaints away. Because more times than not, I see the negative.  I am a complainer.  Oh, how I want all of that to change.  I long for all of those evil ways to be hushed like the doubt.  What a huge task I have laid at His feet.  My longing is for a heart that bleeds the fruit of the spirit.  That is what He expects.  I want to please Him.  He died for me.  He died for you.  He died for us.  It is the least we can do.  It is a matter of the heart.  His love is sufficient.

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Perfection may be screaming out at you.  Impossible.  Perfection is impossible because of sin.  Yes.  But, all things are possible through Him.  He paid it all.  He is our Savior, our Redeemer, and our Father which art in Heaven.  Following Him is the only way to bear fruit.  I love Him.  I thank Him.  I have no more doubt or fear.  He will give me the strength needed to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  The devil can’t win.  Not this battle.  The Lord is my teacher, my Father, and my strength. His words are beautiful.  He is the author and the finisher.  He is the beginning and the end.

What happens when the anger slips back in?  When the wrong words slip out?  When I get frustrated because the beds are not made, the toys are left out, the dishes are piled in the sink, the husband is working nearly 18 hours each day?  The answer is quite simple. I run to Him.  I ask for forgiveness.  He forgives.  And in my daily journal, I scratch out those horrible sins.  They are forgotten.  I run to those who the anger and frustration spewed over.  I ask them to forgive me.  I hug.  I kiss.  I love them more than ever.  I vow to try harder.  I start over again.  I squeeze tighter.  They hug.  They kiss.  They love me and understand me more. They squeeze tighter.  We all try harder.  We have the power to love through Him.  We all hug.  We all kiss.  We all squeeze tighter.  We all love each other one hundred times more than the day before.  We are human.  We are sinful.  We are powerless without Him.  How sweet it is to be loved by the Savior of the world.   Will you let Him guide your heart?  Proverbs 3:5-6  explains it so well.  His ways, His truths, His words, and His guidance are the only reasons to ever follow your heart. He is so enveloped in mine.  His love is amazing. I will do it all for Him.   It’s a matter of the heart.


John 8:32 – And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

Psalm 19:14 – Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, my redeemer.

The Fruit of the Spirit bracelet can be purchased here:

The proceeds from the bracelet go to the women living in the Reformers Unanimous (a Christ centered addiction recovery program) women’s home in Rockford, IL.  The bracelets are made by the women living in the home, and the money helps them live in the home while they learn that Jesus will set them free from their addictions.  The money is sometimes used to help the women purchase gifts for their children for birthdays and holidays.  It helps the mothers stay connected to their children while learning of Christ’s love as they are being set free from their sinful addictions. The bracelet in the picture was made by a woman name Brittany.  Will you join us and pray for her?

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4 Responses to It’s A Matter of the Heart

  1. Amy says:

    This post was beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Wilma says:

    Maw Maw is always on call! I love you and all my buddies!

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